


Lost Moments

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Primeval
Genre: Contemplative Abby, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Mentions of canon character death, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 09:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6651697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abby reflects on the events of 207 and Stephen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Moments

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Livejournal in 2008.

Abby stood in front of her open wardrobe, contemplating the contents. She could hear Connor doing the same in his room, muffled curses reaching her each time he decided an outfit wasn’t suitable and threw it onto the bed in disgust. Part of her wanted to go in and check on him but the other, more selfish part, wanted some time away from him. She wanted to sort out her own feelings before she dealt with anyone else’s.

Black with a splash of colour she decided, pulling out a blue top and black skirt. She rummaged around for suitable shoes to go with them. She hoped it hadn’t been so long since she wore heels that she couldn’t walk in them properly. She laid the outfit out on her bed and took a step back, admiring the effect. She’d done the girl thing for Stephen once before, she could certainly do it again now.

“Looks good,” Connor told her from the doorway, rubbing at reddened eyes. “I have a blue shirt like that…” His voice faded off as he left her alone again. Usually so talkative, in these last two days he’d barely finished a sentence. He’d told her that he couldn’t understand what had led Stephen to this point and he hoped he could be as brave. Neither of them voiced their concerns about Cutter. No one mentioned Helen.

Abby didn’t believe Stephen had resumed their affair; their body language had been all wrong when Stephen had brought her to the motorway. She _had_ felt he’d been keeping something back, but it had been such a familiar feeling by now where he was concerned that she hadn’t realised it was because it was the same secret, all over again. If only he’d talked to _her_ instead of his desperate attempts to get back in with Cutter. If only she’d tried to talk to _him._

Everything was such a mess now, she decided, glancing at her alarm clock and realising she needed to start getting dressed before they were too late.

She hadn’t liked the way Cutter seemed so intent on blocking Stephen out and had tried to say as much. But she had to admit to herself that she hadn’t tried very hard. The problem was Stephen _was_ in the wrong, and no amount of sympathy on her part would erase that fact. She almost wished the fight and the punch had come much earlier – at least then Stephen would still be alive.

But not happy. Not that he’d had much chance for happiness lately, but at least he’d been doing something he believed in. At least partly. When he’d come to her and asked for her support there was no way she could have said yes. How could he not see that the public knowing would make everything so much worse? How could he think that she’d choose him over Cutter, the man who hadn’t steered them wrong yet?

She moved over to her mirror and began pinning her hair back. She’d liked Stephen. More than liked at one point. He was handsome and genuinely funny when he wanted to be. And brave. Stupidly so. Every time she started to imagine what it had been like for him in that room, shutting that door – thinking of her and Connor! She closed her eyes tight and thanked god for waterproof mascara. Could she have done it? She’d faced down the sabretooth but there had been others there then, other people who needed protecting and a slim chance that they’d all survive. Stephen hadn’t even had the glimmer of escape.

Cutter wouldn’t tell them exactly what he’d seen but the haunted look he’d worn when he first came outside of that place had told its own story. She was sure that in those last few moments Stephen hadn’t been alone.

“We should get going,” Connor told her and she jumped, dropping her hairbrush. He was getting better at creeping about.

“I won’t be a minute,” she told him, refusing to turn around and enormously grateful that he left without another word.

Why didn’t Stephen just tell them Helen was back? That’s all it would have taken and they’d have been a team again. Did Cutter really mean that much to Stephen that he’d rather deal with his enemy than confide in his friend? It was that loyalty to Cutter she’d admired when they’d first met. They’d seemed so happy together. And now that loyalty had become distorted. Stephen had just been protecting his friend at the end of the day and it wasn’t as if she, or Connor, had done much to repair things. He'd risked his life so many times and she hadn’t even thanked him.

She was going to miss him.

As she picked up her bag and started down the stairs she spared herself a thought for the future. Stephen would be hard to replace, even if they wanted to. If nothing else Cutter would never trust as readily in someone else the way he had in Stephen. No matter how bad things had gotten they’d always believed that Stephen would have their backs. Who had them now?

She followed Connor outside to the car. She wondered briefly what the others would say to their matching outfits, and then dismissed the thought just as easily; this wasn’t about them.

Connor got in first and she took a moment to savour the silence. She wondered how many people would be there. She didn’t even know if Stephen’s parents were still alive, or if he had any brothers or sisters. They’d been together so much in such a short space of time, but did they really know anything about each other? Jenny still hadn’t got back to her yet with the cover story so she didn’t even know how Stephen was supposed to have died. She supposed she’d find out soon enough.

She got into the car and took a deep breath. At least she wasn’t going into this completely alone. She had Connor, and Cutter, and Jenny. They’d get through this. But for now she began to drive away in silence, smiling briefly at her companion. They could talk later, when words didn’t seem quite so meaningless. For now she was content to remember all the things they’d lost.

**Author's Note:**

> Abby prepares for Stephen's funeral.


End file.
